I have been a conscious observer of an ancient sentiment tune-in technique, which actually existed in human sub-conscious a long before the subject of psychology was ever invented and emotions became a philosophic science. Yes, I am referring to the art of catharsis.
Let me share, via this blog, how I would interpret catharsis, as per my experience.
The first step towards this elucidation is to answer – Why the practice of emotional cleansing ever resonated with me?
I found sad poetry with distressing lyrics so serene, reaching deep into my heart, tingling the chords of melancholic harmony. Tragedy became my favourite genre for movies and books. I felt better after spending all my inner gloom on outer stimuli. I felt redeemed, even though it was a provisional satisfaction, till the next dose of tenebrosity for an emotional fix.
We, as humans, are creatures of habit, but after a point, endeavour to break boundaries. So, this bubble of fleeting purgatory of feelings started to bust the day I remembered my parent’s advice- ‘Always value what you have, rather than count what you don’t’. This begot another question, ‘ why so many of us have this craving for gloom, while actually desiring abundance of happiness? ‘ It nudged me towards realising that I was not entirely comfortable with this induced dosage of sadness, when deep down, I actually yearned for joyousness in life. I arrived at the point of boredom or impasse with this recurring routine; and at that very spot started my very own reformation.
My frustration had a silver lining; I was motivated to jump out of a shallow pond in to a plenteous world. My first edification was to bust a few mythical beliefs, picked on the way, on perpetual roundabout my life was stuck on – turning eternally, but going nowhere .
I recognised the imperfection in my thought pattern and focus; I liked to be cathartic to glum stimuli, and this made me feel, mistakenly, purged and consequently, spiritual. However, it was never long lasting, and I was left with frustration of desiring permanent state of ecstasy. I have to admit, that sometimes I felt kindred with tearjerker subjects, so much so that it became part of my very make up as a person. I needed a personality change, or at least a focus replacement by taking the first exit from the roundabout of my life, stuck in the quicksand of counter-productive emotional discharge .
Where I found solace in moroseness, my preference has changed to comedy or light hearted movies, books and even friends. I feel the first shackle broken, yet, I have miles to run to achieve emotional emancipation. I admire the glimpse of positivity out of the window ajar, but there is a big door to be kicked open yet.
I re-analysed my parent’s advice and began to appreciate what I have, and even thanking almighty for life itself. What’s more, I am smiling more when I look at my self in the mirror- not mockingly, but for seeing a different personality in the same image. Its not always easy nor is it an emotional incontinence of constant laughter, but I am feeling more content within; while trying to refuse myself a daily shower in the saline water, to feel cleansed. I have realised that my routine audience with catharsis was, but, a short spurt of ‘feel better’, as programmed to think. My life was under the sway of melancholic tunes; but in reality, this behaviourism was stinting the growth of positivity within. I am currently working on manifesting abundance of happiness, by finding it in every nook and corner of this great life. Thank you Universe, I am in gratitude to you.