Spills from life: How ageism can affect mental health

Everyone goes through the ageing process of life and most of us are subjected to social bullying called the Ageism. I am motivated to write on this topic in the wake of ever increase in the stats for mental disability and also the fact that someone close to me has been a victim of ignorant callousness.
One of my ex-colleagues went through depression after she retired at the age of 60. Even a strong character like her was pushed down by bigot mentality and eventually she felt almost guilty about her age which developed into an inferiority complex. Remarks like, ‘You’ll be out of place there’, ‘ your active days are over now’, ‘ You should act your age,’ ‘ that style might look better on a younger person, etc. ravaged her life and it manifested in the form of recluse, withdrawal, eating disorder, to name a few symptoms. She is an educated and a very intelligent person, who pulled herself through mental illness with self- motivation and is currently dedicated to volunteering to help elderly in the nursing homes. I am sure that there are tens of thousands of people who are or have gone through such victimisation.

 Suddenly you start noticing that references are made to your age in almost all spheres of conversation and interactions by those who are younger than you, the same age-group and even the ones who are older.  Your ears are eroded with the sound of phrases like, ‘At your age’, ‘as you grow older’, ‘your generation’, ‘ doesn’t go with your age’, and many more such inequitable phrases. In certain orthodox countries like India, Nigeria, Malaysia and Nepal it is a tradition to call anyone older as Aunty or Uncle without any real relationship. This is fine so far respect is concerned, but when overdone becomes offending. My sister in India had a baby when she was in her late twenties and many people couldn’t believe that she was a mother of a child as she looked so young. But on the other side, those who had seen her with the baby and could be 4-5 years younger than herself started addressing her as ‘Aunty’!🙄 She was shocked and this gave her some complex initially. My mum explained to her that it wasn’t personal since marriage was considered to be an uplift in social status so people mean to show respect. I never understood that logic and found that especially women are the recipients of such attention, in proportion. There are more indecorous ways where society almost makes you feel guilty about growing older. Many people are mentally affected by such a passive aggressive excluding attitude. No one deserves to be treated as discarded, outdated or obsolete while the heart is still beating.

Once you are labelled ‘middle age’ even God can’t influence the primitive mindset of the world – your cosmos is expected to be painted sober in pastel colours, wardrobe must accommodate for hanging longer dresses, choice of music should tone down and learn to sway to slow beat only and…and…please don’t even mention or comment on SEX!!
I’ll give you an example, I am a  qualified dancer with extensive stage and television experience. I volunteered to perform for a charity event and I was patronised by one of the organisers who said to me, very charmingly, ‘Though others are all young dancers but I am sure you can still  pull it at your age’!!! I had just turned 40 at that time and according to my mirror, mind and social links looked a very young 40 every inch of my personality.  So, my response was, ‘ I hope you are as lucky as I am when you reach my age in a couple of years.’ He was dumbfounded and didn’t speak to me rest of the evening. The shoe was on the other foot- He was 25 and I was being sarcastic. 😜.  
Even the doctors start to use age as an excuse for the symptoms they can’t diagnose. Well, I’ve experienced this since I turned 35 years old and it’s getting younger and younger for newer and newer health strains.
I not only protest but am appalled by such pre-conceived notions. How dare this society? These  People remind me of that pigeon who closes its eyes and pretends that the cat doesn’t exist but ageing is a reality, like the cat, and will dawn on every single being on this earth. I think we human beings need diverse stimuli for keeping our inner intolerance kindled. No wonder there is so much negativity around in the world- this is one virus we humans have developed in the lab of our mind and is highly infectious. We have to find an antidot to end such mindless discrimination. Only defiance would kick ass this chucklesome social deformity.  

Challenge the facetious lip-service, like, ‘ you look so young for your age‘. No thank you very much, I can look my age and be as young at heart as I feel. Another teasing insincerity lie in words like, ‘ 40 is the new 30…50 is the new 40…60 is the new…..’; I would have hailed such mental evolution if it was sincere.
I am not insisting that old people should not be called old, but not as a derogatory judgement in a condescending way by mentally yoking together ‘old’ and ‘unable’ ( I am not talking about disability here.) Let people age as they would like to individually- dye hair any colour you fancy or leave the natural glory of grey shine through , dress up as a peacock if you would like to and poke in the eye  phrases like ‘ mutton dressed as lamb’, your bedroom is your domain and don’t let a kaput mentality peep through your privacy, be a party diva and swirl through the lame party poopers. In short, live your life and to the fullest by your choice and not as per the expectations of others. Be the trend setter and others will follow. Don’t let anyone push you in to a cubbyhole and for God’s sake don’t stop living before you die.
Everything matures to its prime with time. There wouldn’t have been any history recorded for mankind, had not the chronicles been collated by the experienced generations of the time and experience itself develops with age. Captain Tom Moore raised £32 million at the age of 99 for Covid-19, At 85, Theodor Mommsen receive a Nobel Prize in Literature, Fauja Singh ran a marathon at 100, and many more such names and achievements that my article can’t possible absorb. My motto here is not that every mature person need to make records to prove their worth, but to highlight the fact that there are levels of abilities in all people, regardless of age –  not every young person is a picture of youth, similarly the older people can be average normal human beings too.
I know I am prepared with my boxing gloves to knock the hell out of this  sickness in society. Please join me, whatever your age, by leaving a comment.

New launch on this blog: ‘The Spills from Life’

I am thrilled to launch a new angle to my blog- ‘ The Spills of Life’! This is aimed at sharing any emotion, experience or issue one may feel is ‘better out than in’. Emotions can push a person over the edge and yet, can also rationalise a problem to restore equilibrium. So, the aim of introducing another perspective to my site is to share those aspects of life which might first appear to be merely some troubling whispers but their constant rumbling can deafen a person. No issue in life is too small to be ignored and no issue is big enough that it can’t be resolved. My posts would appear on my blog under two different headings: 1. ‘Law of Attraction’, followed by the sub-title of the article and 2. ‘ Spills from Life’, followed by the sub-title of the article. This would make it easier for the readers to choose their preference. I aim to post the first article tomorrow on the topic of ageism.  Hope for your continued support and encouragement. Thank you in anticipation. 

Seek ‘what’ is God, not ‘who’ is God

Yes, it’s my belief based on my own experience that I speak of, but if anyone out there could benefit from the spiritual truth that I’ve discovered then I shall consider the contentment multiplied through sharing with the fellow seekers.
There are so many names given to the Omni-god and it’s impossible to keep up with it. Moreover, the diversity has created as many rifts as the titles given to the individual interpretation of the Almighty. We have become territorial with our chosen lords and deities, guarding them with the weapons of intolerance and hatred for others who have a different spiritual visionary interpretation. Unfortunately, this is not even remotely anywhere near spiritualism
There is a combination of ignorance and hypocrisy in our psychology, at both conscious and  unconscious level which has clouded our vision of God. For most of us who seek God through the religious path, God is humanised with supernatural powers. All religions have parables with fantastic characters, heroes and heroines with inflated super capabilities. Of course, the only real part of the stories are the messages conveyed through ,symbolic qualities of the characters, which are majestic and sublime. However, we human beings have forgotten the actual meaning of the celestial potency and are just following the  bravado. As a result, we’ve got entangled in personalities of these mythical characters and have started contention to prove whose story and character is better to win the Oscar for the best God. Everyone claims that God is one but insist that their God is THE one. It is more like hero worship or cult. It’s amazing that the ones in the front line of such contests know the least about the teachings or the morals of their religion, except claiming vociferously to be superior to others. This stems from inner ego which is an extremely negative state of mind and hence no way near spiritual realm.
I have thought high and low about the reasons for such imperfection in our psychology and thinking. I thence concluded that the fundamental flaw is how we ‘perceive’ the concept of God, regardless of which image or idol we believe in. In other words, we seek to find ‘who’ is god and when we can’t see nothing in the vast nothingness, we paint our imagination in a fantastic supernatural form. Every such image Is a creation of human mind, just like giving birth to a child. Every mother loves her own child more than others and like a possessive and over bearing mum, we are smothering our individual faiths too. As a result, the godly image or the child is growing in to a spoilt brat of a religion. Look around and there are so many brats running around in our society currently – Again, I am not talking about the spiritual aspect of any religion though . My aim here is not to hurt anyone’s feelings or attack any religious institute. In fact, I am NOT denouncing the ‘what’ concept of a religion, but ‘how’ we are interpreting symbolism and misleading the younger generations is certainly questionable . It’s one baton we are passing on to lose the race for sure. Religion in its rigidity should not be an inheritance, but the values it characterizes should be passed on to the progeny with an open ended clause for a prospect of evolution of spiritual advent. I am not going to address God as a gender or species, which reduces the spirituality in to a mortal mode.
We need to revolutionise our outlook, if we wish to create a more peaceful world around us. Start with seeking ‘what’ is the meaning of the term God, and not ‘who’ he/she is. In every religion, our favourite deity/image/personality/ Devi/ deva etc. is attributed with mystical powers and POWER is an abstract and intangible concept. So there is a common ground in all faiths, i.e. God is power! This is the only and a huge tick amongst the many crosses. So, let’s take advantage of this rare common conscious value and develop upon the notion of abstractness of the Omnipotent , the all-powerful.
So, how would I define power? It means an ability or capacity to do something grand and if this power is incalculable, it un-veils the cosmic potency. The power we are seeking is neither born nor ever dies- so this is what ‘Akal’ (beyond the time) Murat (image) means. All religionists would agree that the god of their imagination is timeless, casteless, creedless and classless. If anyone thinks otherwise, then perhaps spirituality is not the subject for them to pursue. So, Akal-Murat or Brahma or Omniscient confirm the existence of  an inestimable energy or power which has begotten All Life on this earth and this potency is what Almighty or God means. Energy cannot be seen but felt ; just like the oxygen cannot be seen but felt in the action of breathing which keeps us alive. So, we need to ‘feel’ God even if we can’t see it. This is ‘what’ god is – no colour, no form, outside the cycle of birth and death, no hatred, no fear, no prejudice, no beginning, no end. Hence, it is the ‘All-doer’, ‘Beyond time’, ‘Just and Fair’, ‘Benevolent’ and ‘Merciful’, to name a few of its attributes.
In case, we would like to accredit an image to visualise the concept of God, as beginners, then whatever your preferred portrayal, it should stay within your own mind and not painted ostentatiously for a public display. Once we have understood ‘what’ the Universe is, then and only then we can discover ‘who’ we are and what our relationship is with our Maker, one another, all living beings and with Earth itself. Once we have crossed this threshold in to the realm of spiritualism, we could, if we would like to, continue with symbols and dress codes but NOT to depict divisiveness but to present generic values and love for the same Power and Energy in diverse expressions and ways. Remember that candle, electric bulb, Sun are all sources of light and it’s the light that end the darkness, not the tool.  
I found my faith and peace in the freedom of abstractness rather than ritualistic exhibitions or socio- political banner flaunting. There are many who have found the right path. Give your own life to save another being if need be, but don’t kill a child of your own creator in the name of saving God’s honour!  This would only  imply that your God isn’t capable of defending self. That infirmity can’t be All powerful, I must stress. God doesn’t need our protection and it doesn’t have any enemies- remember the Universal power is omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient. We must stop hiding our own villainy in a spiritual guise.  
I must end on a positive note- there are more people amongst us who know this Truth than those who are marching through the darkness aimlessly. I trust the Universe to guide through its light the misled children back home. We are all one in seeking the only power of the ONE God. This, in my experience, is ‘what’ spiritualism feels like. Peace be with all my brothers and sisters on the planet.   

Gratitude for the award nomination

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My gratitude for the nomination for the Real Neat blog award to wordsofsoul.art.blog by Aradhana Poetry and Thoughts- an excellent site for exquisite expression.
In keeping with the formalities of award nomination I present 7 sites I picked to nominate along with the list of rules that nominees must follow:

1)- put the award logo on your blog..

2)- Answer 7 questions asked by the person who nominated you.

3)- Thank you the people who nominated you

4)- Nominate any number of bloggers you like linking to their blogs..

5)- let them know you nominated them..
My nominees are:

My Answers:-
1)- where do most visits to your blog come from?
Answer: USA
2)- what is your favourite sport?
ANSWER: Cricket.
3)- what has been a special moment for you in 2020 so far?
ANSWER: The family eats three meals together is pretty special; even if it’s due to imposed restrictions.
4)- what is your favourite quote?
ANSWER: Don’t be so bitter that others spit you out and don’t be so sweet that everyone swallow you whole.
5)- what was your favourite class when still at school?
ANSWER: Dance and English literature. 
6)- Anything you had wished to have learned earlier?
ANSWER: Salsa dancing and Bharatnatyam. I’ve learnt Kathak Indian classical but can’t get enough of tapping to diverse beats. Dance, to me, is an expression of freedom which is very positive.  
7)- what musical instruments have you tried to play ?
Answer: Guitar but without much success so far. I am on it though.☺
My questions:
1) What are you most grateful for in your life?
2) If you could re-model the world how would you promote love despite borders?
3) What is that one fear you would like to vanquish?
4) Describe what is a perfect day for you?
5) What is one goal you would like to achieve in life?
6) Which is your favourite book that you’ve read?
7) How do you decide who is your true friend?
Thank you for the nomination again and best wishes to my nominees. Keep writing, keep reading.

Don’t desire with eyes bigger than your stomach

To manifest your desire for better tomorrow, you MUST thank the Almighty for today. I am not talking about a lip service or ritualistic formality here, but a state of mind and heart that you can feel and believe in. Be grateful for every day of your life, for every happy moment that you spend with self or a loved one. Nothing is too small to show a great gratitude and this action is a sure investment into manifesting a brighter future. Once you feel the thankfulness, you establish a link with the Nirankar.
Believe me, I have gone through the ritualistic stage of gratitude and without even realising I was convinced at my conscious level that I have contributed my ‘action’ in to manifestation. Result? Nothing happened and I was disappointed followed by a sense of confusion over the future strategy. Then I started sniffing for clues like Sherlock Holme as to where and what went wrong with my spiritual aspirations.
After a saga of meagre hits and repeated failures in manifesting I realised where I failed myself – I was thanking at a very superficial level, un-consciously, without dipping deep into the pool of my feelings. Consequently, I couldn’t align with the Universe. Bingo! I found the pebble under my feet! The inspiration came from an un-suspected direction, a health scare – I found a knot under my arm and it blasted the alarm bells! In few days, my GP put my mind to rest by confirming that it wasn’t the infamous ‘C’ word diagnosis but a result of vigorous exercise that I had inflicted upon myself in order to lose weight before a special event in the family. That day I consciously thanked the Universe and realised that your current health or wealth could be in jeopardy while you are too busy praying for an abundant future. This was a sign and guidance by the Omniscient to appreciate the precious blessings that I have already been bestowed with, rather than chasing for more without enjoying the current happiness I was surrounded with, for example, my loving family and their love . I wasn’t yet ready for the next level or as spiritual speakers would say, ‘not ready to receive’.  In my previous articles I have discussed about moral basis for the desires. Have you seen that one guest in every party who piles up the plate with more food than he/she can eat or a crazy person shopping on a black Friday sale? Avarice results in wastefulness. In short, greed shouldn’t be the base for your desire for ‘more’; rather, it should be a morally justified need that would enrich your life positively. Then and only then your desire would be fulfilled. When a few of those self- acclaimed LOA experts preach the grandiloquent of ‘ You will manifest whatever you desire, and so desire the highest prize for yourself’, it is so easy,’ etc. it is not the entire truth told.    
Let me elucidate this with the help of an example. When I desired to leave my previous job, it wasn’t because I was lazy or wanted a higher paid job that I wasn’t trained for or even didn’t want to work; but the fact that after years of grafting on the job, it began to drown me deeper and deeper in to negativity like a quick sand because of the acidic atmosphere. This had begun to disturb the equilibrium of my mind. So, I desired from heart for a better aura round my life with increased levels of positivity. I could actually touch my emotions desiring to tilt the balance in the right direction. My very soul felt this desire and then my prayer was answered with circumstances developing out of blue where I could leave my job with decent a VR package. I not only manifested the main desire that I had focused on: ‘ Leave the negative place to restore positivity in life’, but the Universe secured me financially too so that my only barrier, my  financial concern, could be removed as well. I have never looked back and have never been happier since. I thanked the Universe consciously to the extent that my sub-conscious was echoing it too. Then the question I asked myself was, ‘Could I ask for more’? The answer was, ‘Yes, only if it genuinely improved the positivity in my life’. The principles for my desires since have been: 1) There is a genuine need for a change or improvement upon my current circumstances . Such a moral justification has also assisted in improving my spiritual aura. 2) Focus on one desire at a time and any side desires attached to the main focus would be fulfilled by the Universe in the process of manifestation. The Universe is magnanimous. By following both these principles, I’ve learnt  not to pile my plate with more than I could eat or digest, along with appreciating the chef for the succulent meal.