The Making Of a Character: Losing vs Accepting Defeat

Battles are fought and games are played where some win and some lose. But I would like to un-simplify this concept.
There should be no shame in losing but surrendering to defeat is cowardly. Many people accept defeat, not as a result of the outcome of the combat, but as a result of giving up.
Why does this happen? Let’s focus on a few factors of accepting defeat.
Lack of self-confidence– You can have the necessary skills, but your performance is marred by nerves. Bad performance is still better than denying yourself a chance.
Not connected– As one could say-‘ Not feeling it’. Someone might be in a job for a long time but miserable at work, because he/she might feel it wasn’t the right job for them. my question to such a person would be ‘What did you do to get out of this miserable condition?’ If one knows what doesn’t stir feelings, then one must also realise what does. Otherwise, it’s just self-pity and deflection.
Being lazy– Trying is hard, and not everyone has the mental energy to be diligent. Such people might find it easier to accept defeat without trying.
Low self-esteem– Having a low self-opinion is different to lacking self-confidence. Confidence is dependent on outer stimuli- applause, approval, or even being unsure that others would accept you. But the inferiority complex comes from within where one accepts that one is lacking in something or all. In such a situation, one actually believes that fighting is not worth it.
Codependency– When we are too eager to please others, so much so that it comes natural to put ourselves in the last. We give up on ourselves and accept being ‘not important’. Even if we win, we attribute the success to someone or something else. Such a victory is no more than a defeat.
All the above factors point towards a weak character, but are we all born with a feeble disposition? Absolutely not.
Now in contrast, what are the factors influencing us not to give up without a fight.
Self-Confidence – Believing in yourself does not always mean victory at any cost, but trying your very best to win. Even after all the efforts you were to lose, the victory would remain the target for the next time. You work even harder and improve to fight back. This is an honourable defeat which shall convert into victory soon.
Connect with oneself– Understand yourself thoroughly to discover what you really want first and then set your goals very clearly. Compromise, if you have to with a job position, for example, but temporarily, while trying to get what you excel in permanently. So long as one is trying, one is winning.
Self-importance– Self- recognition does not mean self-absorption. Let this sink deep. Self-respect is not denying respect to others. There must be a balance. If this balance tilts either way, it results in either codependency or low self-esteem. A balanced recognition of one’s abilities equips one to fight and try what one feels one can achieve. Even after losing, one doesn’t cease to improve, because there’s always the next time to gain victory.
Being proactive– It’s imperative to try to be proactive in life, rather than reactive, as much as possible. Once you’re well connected with yourself and you have developed the mental ability to balance self-respect in the context of larger life and the universe, you will grow the required insight into what you really want, what is the real goal for you, and what efforts are required to achieve it. Life is a plan. Trial and error, to some extent, can also be part of this plan. It might surprise some, but it’s a fact. We might know our destination but there could be different routes to reach the same place. It’ll only by trying the different routes that one settles for the most efficient way to reach there. Avoid the shooting in the dark scenario.
There can be so much written on this topic, but for the purpose of this post, I am sure it’s enough to highlight what is important to know – Give life your very best so that life can reciprocate accordingly.
Good and also bad character grows, regardless – the law of nature. But which direction it takes is up to you.
Don’t give up without a fight. So long you are trying, you are winning in more ways than you might realise.